Happy Birthday Matthias!

Matt and Sam say if it's your birthday, and you think certain cupcakes stink, then get your coworkers to rally up and get you an ice cream cake.

Rally up!

Pick Your Own

Matt and Sam think that farmers who have you pick your own fruit are having you do the dirty work.

Picking your own nose is one thing, picking your own fruit is a whole other ballgame.

Proofread

Matt and Sam say you oughta proofread.

No further explanation required.

Credit

If you're given credit for this piece of genius from Overheard in NY;

Girl: I see these hipster girls and they're in those little skirts with the high heels, and they're on their bikes. I'm like, what are you doing? I hope you get hit by a car.

--1st Ave between 6th & 7th

Matt and Sam say relish the compliment.

Quiet

If someone is enjoying a breakfast that you think may be a bit much for this time of the morning, Matt and Sam say keep your opinion to yourself.

Soul Suck

Matt and Sam know that sometimes days are long. So long.

We also undertand how it feels to have your soul sucked out because of these long, neverending, rainy afternoons.

On days like this Matt and Sam will allow you curl up under your desk and nap.

Hey, cupcake!

If you see a tough guy on the street and you need to speak with him, Matt and Sam say it's okay to refer to him as "Cupcake".

He'll be into it, trust us.