Quiet

If someone is enjoying a breakfast that you think may be a bit much for this time of the morning, Matt and Sam say keep your opinion to yourself.

Soul Suck

Matt and Sam know that sometimes days are long. So long.

We also undertand how it feels to have your soul sucked out because of these long, neverending, rainy afternoons.

On days like this Matt and Sam will allow you curl up under your desk and nap.

Hey, cupcake!

If you see a tough guy on the street and you need to speak with him, Matt and Sam say it's okay to refer to him as "Cupcake".

He'll be into it, trust us.

Bussing It

If you're taking the Chinatown bus, don't expect quality service.

But do expect to take many detours, have a grumpy driver, and see chicken nuggets on the floor.

Also, as a bonus, you may get carsick.

An Apple A Day

Royal Gala apples are tasty. They're crisp and red, like a good apple should be.

Matt and Sam are eating Royal Gala apples. Get on the boat and eat one too.

The day, not the Addam's

Monday's suck, so Matt and Sam say that Monday's are the new Wednesday's.

Now you're two days closer to the weekend.

You're welcome.

Money Clips are Bullshit

You should have a wallet. Carrying your cash, credit cards, and id around in a money clip is a recipe for disaster.

Matt and Sam have wallets, fat wallets, you should too.

Pasta

Matt and Sam will be having pasta tonight. You should too.

Some options:

Frozen Stuffed Shells
Pierogis
Spaghetti-o's

Whipped Cream is a Must

If you're going to get an ice cream sundae, you have to have it with whipped cream.

It's not an option.

If you must, you can save scoop off your whipped cream, put in a tupperware, and send it to Matt and Sam.

No loans from Pristine.

It may be tempting, but Matt and Sam are sure that the emails from Pristine offering a "pre-approved $100,000 loan" is spam. So, if you get one of these emails, Matt and Sam don't think you should accept her offer.

Not sure why "LESBIAN $$$" is stamped on here.

This is where we tell you what to do.

Each day Matt and Sam will grace you with their opinion of various things:
what you should eat for dinner
what event you should attend
what book to read, movie to see
etc.