Happy Birthday Matthias!

Matt and Sam say if it's your birthday, and you think certain cupcakes stink, then get your coworkers to rally up and get you an ice cream cake.

Rally up!

Pick Your Own

Matt and Sam think that farmers who have you pick your own fruit are having you do the dirty work.

Picking your own nose is one thing, picking your own fruit is a whole other ballgame.

Two for the Price of One

Today you are lucky and will receive two pieces of advice from Matt and Sam.

Important Piece of Advice #1:

If your coworker is sick and there is any way to get them chamomile tea, you should do that. They will get better, you will be less likely to get sick, and they will like you more. Which is good, since Sam's difficult to work with.





Important Piece of Advice #2:

Matt and Sam feel that if you are going to go on vacation you should take a break from blogging. To that end, Matt and Sam will take a break from bossing you around until Sam and her boyfriend return from vacation two weeks from now. In the meantime, we ask that you please refrain from sending your usual stream of fan mail.

The people in this picture are not Sam and her boyfriend.

Proofread

Matt and Sam say you oughta proofread.

No further explanation required.

Matt and Sam have recently discovered that it is important to bring a chamber pot with you everywhere you go.

You never know when the landmark you're visiting will suddenly experience a crippling water problem that makes it impossible to go to the bathroom.

Credit

If you're given credit for this piece of genius from Overheard in NY;

Girl: I see these hipster girls and they're in those little skirts with the high heels, and they're on their bikes. I'm like, what are you doing? I hope you get hit by a car.

--1st Ave between 6th & 7th

Matt and Sam say relish the compliment.

Important Holiday Message

Matt and Sam would like to wish you a happy and safe Labor Day weekend. To that end, we issue this warning: keep an eye on those hot dogs.

You never know what they might get up to if you don't pay attention.